People who have followed me personally and professionally may have recently noticed some major changes in my online presentation . There is good reason for that: I’ve come to realize that I am transgender.
I am transfeminine (aka transfem, aka transfemme) nonbinary and have taken on They/Them pronouns. I am still figuring my gender identity out and, as of writing, I am just beginning to figure out gender presentation. It’s been a long, confusing journey, but I know I’m still nearer the starting line than the finish line.
I’ve been in therapy and I have received a tremendous amount of love and support from my family and my friends. Recently, I came out officially on Facebook, and the response was overwhelming. My partner has been absolutely loving and supportive as we go on this journey together.
I think that it is important to write and talk about my experience because (a) it has been so positive and (b) since I do have a strong support network, I am in a less dangerous and precarious position than many other trans folks. In some ways, this is another mark of my privilege in the world – the fact that I can make this transition without fear of losing my family, being attacked in my community, or being abused by my friends.
It’s a strange experience transitioning in one’s thirties and having to navigate transition itself and its effects on all the relationships you’ve built over your lifetime. I understand how this news was abrupt, jarring, and strange to my family and friends, but it was also abrupt to me. I think that is symptomatic of how invisible trans folks have been in mainstream culture until recently and how taboo talking about trans issues was when I was growing up.
So far, transitioning has made my quality of life and my emotional health dramatically better. It’s improved my communication with my partner and strengthened our bond. It’s also just who I am, and I don’t want people, personally or professionally, to feel like it’s a topic that is off-limits. If I am open and honest and own it, maybe it will help other folks figure themselves out.
So, in short: I’m Steve. I have they/them/theirs pronouns. I am transgender. I am queer. I am proud of it.